angkinabuhi

Sometimes, we take people for granted. Those people who are important to us, whom we care about. But there are reasons why these things happen. There are stories unrevealed why our immaturity comes in and why we tend to ignore their importance.

When my father left us years ago, it was as if the whole world was against me. He abandoned us and I blamed God for that. Why is life so unfair when everything you dreamed of, when all things you aspire would vanish with just one stupid mistake? I felt so left out and so alone when he turned his back on us. A once happy family was ruined by one filthy girl who tempted my father. I was betrayed. I questioned the world and ended up questioning God. Why do things have to be destroyed when all you ever do is try to build and protect it? When all you ever care about disappears? Why do people you care so much and value the most seem to fade when you've done all you can to keep them? When you've done everything they ask from you just to let them stay? Is it difficult to keep what one has promised?

I tried putting my life back. I tried living life according to what was right and tried becoming a good daughter, a good sister, a good girl. Being left out was difficult to bear. I never wanted that to happen. I don't want to lose someone I care so much about again, like loosing the only man I've loved in my entire life. But my imperfections try to come in my way. The harder I try to become perfect, the imperfect I become.

I have met people whom I considered as important, a few stayed but a couple of them left. People come and go; we meet new ones and make them a part of our lives. We make them significant beings in our present lives. But there are circumstances when we are unable to appreciate them. Why? Fear is one of the reasons that prompt us to ignore them- fear of being left out, of being alone. That investing our time on them might be of waste when in the end they would only leave us. We are taken over by our stubbornness, by our selfishness. And we realize that's its too late, when the ones we care about would tell us straight to our face that we've hurt them. That we have taken them for granted. It's a painful truth that one has to face when the ones we love are tired of trying to understand our stubbornness. We do want to keep them but at the back of our minds, we question their sincerity; that having them around doesn't mean we can keep them forever. We question their trust, their vow to stay… Not minding how they feel at all. At the end of the day we end up loosing ourselves and loosing the ones we love.

I ended up like that. My past became a painful reflection of who I've become. It’s a hurtful truth that keeps haunting me. Blaming the world doesn’t help. Questioning God isn’t the answer to this painful reality.
Mike Murdock’s theory of recognition states that, “everything you need is already in your life merely awaiting your recognition of it.”
We need not to find what is missing. We need not to search for what we don't have. Everything else in this world needs time to be acknowledged and appreciated. The people around us, even if they might have left or stayed, are worth investing our time with. Don’t ever miss that chance to express your gratefulness. Never take them for granted. You wouldn't want to loose everything you have. You wouldn't want to end up like me, alone and gray...